Sunday, May 12, 2019 / Singapore

Sticks and stones may break my bones...and halting your weight loss progress too

What's the easiest way to lose weight? 

Nearly every person knows the simple equation for weight loss, eating less + exercising more = fat loss.  On a biological and physiologic level, that's it.  It's literally that simple.  But on a sociological and psychological level, it is a very complex equation.

Are you a believer?

I had a female client that had a particularly large weight loss goal, in an unrealistic amount of time (4 stone in three months).  I asked her to give herself a number between 1-10 (1 being nowhere near and 10 being, having achieved the goal), where she thought she was on her 'weight loss journey'.  She said "1".  The next question I asked was "using the same scale, how much do you believe you can achieve the X goal?".  She said confidently "8/10". Oooo-kay.
We then went through a series of other coaching and information gathering questions and when it came to the last question "on a scale 1-10, how motivated are you now to achieving your goal?" she said  "2/3".  Whaaaa?
So what happened here?  She had a specific goal she wanted to achieve, a deadline and 'belief', but she just wasn't motivated to do it.  I asked her again on how much she believed she could achieve the target weight loss, it actually changed to 3-4/10. "Eh?"  There was clearly an internal conflict, she wanted the result but didn't actually believe she could achieve it.  We did a bit of 'digging', adjusted the weight loss goal and timeline, went through the same 'belief' and 'motivation' scale questions and they both went up - dramatically...and she actually went on to achieve 2 stone weight loss in 4 months.

Do you find yourself battling this similar internal conflict?  Are you telling yourself you 'should' be motivated, or are you saying' I am' motivated?

Language effecting your goals

You know when someone talks to us negatively, we get defensive or upset right?  But do you realise when you're talking to yourself negatively, (It's ok, we all have internal dialogue) or do you realise when you're using negatives words out loud?
When I'm chatting with my clients/team, I'm always listening out for how committed they are and I can almost certainly predict the outcome, or their objective, usually from one word in the sentence.

Below is my 'commitment word' scale and the difference between achieving a goal and not achieving a goal:


I personally hate the word 'try', it's such a flimsy, flaky, half-arsed word used to make it sound like you're invested, when really, you know you're not and just won't admit it.  You see, to try is to give yourself a third option, where you hope to 'save face' should it not go according to plan.  Look it like this, your desired outcome is either done, or it is not.  You will or you won't. You lose weight or you don't. That's the fact.
Let's use this example; You've arranged to meet up with a mate at the pub, at a specific time.   But this mate is notorious for being late or flaking out last minute (we all have that mate).  You say "I'll meet you at the Crown and half seven (7:30pm)".  He say's "ok mate, I'll try be there for then". Ahhh, right there "I'll try..."  as soon as you hear that you know-you Know he's not going to be there at 7:30pm.  He's not even going to be there at 7:35pm.  Oh no, he'll turn up at about 8:05pm if at all.  But he did 'try'.


"Yeah but no-but"

"Your work is great and we really appreciate everything you've done...but..." Is this sentence close to anything you've heard before?  Everything's good until that 'but' and then everything before that gets deleted and then you're hit with the real issue.  But, but can be used in a positive way, just the other way round.  If you were to say "I've had a rubbish day, but I'm home now and all is good again", we've basically turned the negative into a positive and spoke in the present tense (you can even future tense, if you choose) and already re-directing neuro pathways (signals in the brain) to a have a good experience.

Words are you sword

We all know the power that our words have on impacting others, so now it's time concentrate on how you're own language has been impacting your performance.  But to do so, you can choose to guarantee yourself (intrinsic motivation), you are committed and you are definitely going to change, aren't you?  Yes Phil, 'I will!'.

Keep it real folks


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